This marks the end of Chapter 2009

Zooooooooom.....did you see 2009 just went pass!! gosh..tts fast..what have you done this year?
did you have fun? enjoy every single day of 2009? or just simply zoooooom pass 2009??

well..for me..i can say is..this year is really like..a year of drama! haha..many dramatic story happen to me! haha.. i think i can write a drama script!

Part One
My suzhou trip. Before writing this post, i was reading through my past posts. And i read this post about counting down on my suzhou trip which is before april? yah..haha and i mention that i hope to be more mature after the trip because going there is like..i have to depend many things on myself. however, i dont think i became mature like wise..i think i became more friendly? i don know..i only think that friends around me changed. oh! and one thing i must say changed my life is my friend around me! they change my life...haha now we just simply like to travel around singapore in the middle of the night. they are my suzhou clique...though this clique is like..giving me alot of problems but its a rare clique overrall..a clique which i think i can never have the second chance to have one again! haha...

Part Two
IPP. this attachment is really happening...super super happening! not only to me and also to my friends around me. I was attach to this company call kewill. and we are the pioneer batch. i remember the first day i was super excited to see or to know what is my job to be like. End up, it a helpdesk! quite sad, cause is not something i want but when days go pass its like! i really do enjoy it! the pantry auntie will cook nice dessert every wed and i do miss it though i don drink its everytime! haha... i miss the calls from our customers though sometimes they ask silly questions that really makes you -.-" haha.. i miss the journey from amk to my office and back home too. the seneries, the different ppl board the bus and alight the bus, the bus driver, the everything! gooossshhhh... just miss it super alot!

Part Three
Home. This year haha... no diff ! so nothing much to say..same! quarral lor! quarral quarral and quarral!!! haha...oh..and i have a new maid call linda! erm...she is a nice person..but! abit slow in learning new things...haiz..what to do?

Finally,
my new year resolutions...
WORK HARD WORK HARD!! PASSSSSS MY DIPLOMA...
AND I WANT TO GET INTO AN UNIVERSITY! GET A DEGREE...IN ENGINEERING? HAHA...AREOSPACE! HOPE SO...HAHA GO FOR MY TAIWAN TRIP! HOPE IS A FULFILL ONE!! AND YAH..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! AND ITS GONNA BE 21th YEARS OLD! WOOHOO... JIA YOU JY! BETTER FUTURE FOR YOU...LOVE LOVE!

BYE..SEE YAH NEXT YEAR!

How Do You Feel..

How do you feel when your parents going overseas next day?
Sad ? Happy ? Well for me is...HOORAY!! peace and quiet at home..woohooooooo!!
How do you feel when your parents coming back the next day?
Happy right? haha..Well for me is...WHAT!! thats fast...WHY? OMG!!!
you must be thinking..WAH so evil sia..parents go overseas you should be sad right? then when they are coming back..you should be happy ma..but why you opposite de?

Reason: Today is the first day they come back..you know what? QUERRAL! FUCK...

She everyday mention that this house will be demage by my dad because he is not hardworking enough to give us a better life..

But what i can say from my point of view is that this house will just turn cold each day due to her demanding attitude. Ya..i can understand she really works VERY VERY hard for this house..she contribute alot. But.. she want something back. Ya..i know from us ma..but i though that love from parents do not ask for repayment? i do know that our job as their children is to take care of them when they are old. i know i really do know..only that i do not have the ability now right? fuck..how i wish i can earn my own money now! She thinks that she did a good job as a mother? i doubt...what i learn about attitude and my character..i have nothing in my soul that is the same as her...NOTHING! i dont scold my maid? i dont shout at ppl? i dont ask for more than what ppl can give me? i dont anyhow throwt temper? fuck..i just simply unlike her.. where the hell i come from? i think i am too kind :X

i know i cant blame you know..i just cant help it but to blame..blame fate to bring me to her..blame myself to choose to be here..BLAME!! fuck..

ALREADY GONE...

WHAT A MEANINGFUL LYRIC...

Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

I FORGOT MY BFF!!

MEL!! how can i forgot to thankssss her!!!!

thanks for her wonderful present...THANKSSSS

love yah...muakzzz!

My 20th Birthday..

Wanna thanksssss.
thanks Eileen for the surprise and the accompany on my birthday.
thanks Weiqi for the Card, she came here purposely to drop the card and for everything too.
thanks Stanley for coming to the surprise and the help on the coding.. haha
thanks Loke for the helpfulness.. he really can help yo!
thanks Weihao for the passion of taking nice picturessss..
thanks Maggie for the great hugggsss..
thanks SJ for the wonderful present..aprreciate it!
thanks kenneth for coming..it really great of him!
thanks Singnee for coming although she like abit tired ! haha..
thanks Sean for coming too and ya...thanks...
thanks WeiSiong for the passionate attitude! haha..
thanks Desmond Bro..for taking care of me!
thanks Fishball..FISHBALL..thanksssss..100000thanksss
thanks ShuZhen and JinShan..for the wonderful dinnerrrr and and laughter!
thanks Edmund..thanks for coming..he is always there..:) MOON!
thanks Eugene..thanks for the blur blur look he has..
thanks Daniel..he watched new moon but still watch again! haha..
thanks my Brother..for everything!! EVERYTHING..
thanks my parentsss for letting me coming to this world fill with lovesssss..
although they quarral really fierce on my birthday..and lucky i am not at home!
BUT..still have to thankss them! THANKSSSS.. -.-

my wishes are:
1. i can find my path after graduated
2. i wish i can have the chance to leave this place..
3. i wish everyone around can stay healthy and happy..haha

i wont want to wish my parents stop quarraling..coz i know this will nv happen! NV...

THIS IS HOW I FEEL...

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can’t let go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
Different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So when it turns that I can see???
This rope??
Victim??
Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy
Happy
I just wanna be
Oh
I just wanna be
Happy.

Leona Lewis -Happy

who can save me...

I will remember!

even i did something wrong or say something wrong!
she have NO right to Slap me...
and by right..i didnt do anything WRONG or SAY anything wrong!
and WHAT...i apologised! WTF..SHE SLAPPED ME!!!
and point right at my face scolding CCB!!! WTH..
those words coming out from her mouth is like knife cutting into my flesh!
WHAT THE FKKKK!!!! i will remember every slap she given me..i swear!
SWEAR!!! ARGGHHH...FCUK!!!! dammmm assss..
thanks to her..RIGHT..thanks to her... i can see a point that i am able to RESPECT her!
SUCK!!! like who would want this kind of feelingssss...
u can say i am "bu xiao shun" will..u all just being looking at the surface!
everyday she being complaining how much she had contribute
but have she ever think that like we didnt contribute AT ALL!
always thinking at her side of view..just been SELFISH!
so what she fulfilled out physical needs? SO WHAT!
the hurt she bring to us..is like..NEVER ENDING!! FUCK.
never ever one day...she can shut her mouth up and listen to
how others feel!! NEVER!!! she is always right...NEVER wrong! NEVER..
even wrong is wont admit it... WONT.. hate it to the deepest..HATE!!

Post Hong Kong Trip...

well..i am back...

hong kong is really a nice place...

life there is so much happening there

i can say that...actually singapore is quite boring..

maybe cause i stay here too long...

maybe i shall move to somewhere someday...

haha...

i will visit hong kong again..

but i hope the next time i go

i shall go with my friends!!!!

haha...

anw..i didnt do much shopping..

spend more time travelling..

and somemore..i didnt bring my own money

so...ya...if i didnt buy anything for any of u..

PLEASE FORGIVE ME..haha..i will buy things for u guys

on my next trip okok..haha..

will upload more...yeah..haha

hong kong i am coming!

woohoo...
one more week!! hongkong..
well well..don know why!
stomach don feel well this few days..
but still ok..its wont affect my mood!!

What a holiday!

bored to the deepest!!

life continue normally..

though bad things went off

GOOD things not yet arrive..

i am still awaiting haha..

And time passes real fast!

its 2 more months 2009 is going into history

and a new year arrive

and it also a new chapter of life begin

reading back what had happen in 2009

i can say HAPPENING!

First FYP in suzhou then IPP

all the friends i made this year

come and go...but they left the deepest footprint

Wah..i say till like today is the last day of 2009

there all more to say...haha..wait till the last day

i will type all the good and bad things happen this year!

woohoo...

This is a really touching video! please watch...

better in time

Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I'll believe in
And I know time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will.........

pain

it just hurt so much ..

失落沙洲

我不是一定要你回来
只是当又一个人看海
回头才发现你不在留
下我迂回的徘徊我不
是一定要你回来只是
当又把回忆翻开除了
你之外的空白
还有谁能来教我爱

爱多少早知道

早知道我会爱得受不了
就该随身带着一把剪刀
把所有我不爱的画面都去掉
是否我会更好
早知道认识你像玩高空弹跳
拉着你我爱的距离忽大忽小
也许认识我的时候你就知道
你对我的爱有多少

What Should i Do?

what should i do?
what should i do?
what should i do?
what should i do?
what should i do?
what should i do???????

heart pain
heart pain
heart pain
heart pain
heart pain
heart pain
heart pain
heart pain
heart pain

feel like crying but i cant bring myself to cry!!!!
WHY???????
SUCK...the tears like stuck there don want to come out!
WHY????
but i feel so damn upset!! VERY UPSET!!!!
WHY???
shit.......feel so horrible now by this kind of feelings...sian!!

MEL...updated!

well well..where should i start?
lets start with my IPP.
my job scoop is to pick up phone calls
the calls car mainly from the logistic company
when they have to import or export goods
they have to submit permit to custom
and they have to use this software design by my company
and this software somethings will prompt error
so when ppl is a noob to computers software
they will call in to this software provider
and thats us....so we have to solve this error for them

and during this period of time
many things happen during this i can say
things happen in friendship, family
my parent relationship is like a big ship going to shink in a big ocean
and mayb i am just a small fishing sanpan going pass the ship
trying to rescue but my strength is too small...
disappointed i can say... really sad
they are already living in this world for so long
and they still stay in those dinosuar era
so childish !! i think i am so much mature than them can..
well..i cant comment so much! its adult affair what can i say?
but why my mum keep wanting me to interfer? don you think its unfair?
wat i can say is... when time to say good bye...so be it! its fate...

lets talk about fishball birthday celebration
so happy for her.. her life is so much beautiful now
she found a nice guy who willing to take care of her
pamper her, dots her do anything for her...
CONGRATE FISHBALL!!! cherish it orh...

met melvina finally!!
miss her deep deep la...
planning to have another dinner tgt
WHEN WHEN???
and also CONGRAT her...got a new job.
workhard yeah? love ya....

ok! this is the end of this session..
will continue ok? well..actually there is more to say
but...i choose to say it instead of typing it here
haha... BYE! have a nice day...

I AM BACK!!

Finally, i am back to where i belong
SO UNWILLINGLY!!!!
hate to be here...seriously..
the life in Suzhou is the best
but too bad...good time always end fast
these 26 days, i learn a lot...
i learn about friendship~
getting to know many people
i learnt to bargain
i learnt to keep myself healthy
i learnt to be independent
but, sad to say
i have not learn how to cherish
and to have to end the trip
cherish the moment
only at the less day..
we get to fly a kite
we get to bond with people who
we don tok to during the first day
we get to buy fireworks together (WEEEEE)
we get to put fireworks together
we get to go heart to heart talk every night
how do we get a chance to do a heart to heart talk
session in singapore!!! HOW????
its seriously impossible....
holding our pillows sitting on the bed
watching some kind of artistic movie together
in the middle of the night...
HOW can we find time to do this in singapore??
I am who i am in Suzhou ... thats the real me
but back in singapore.. i begin to hide the real me
just the first day in singapore, my mum irritate me..
and now i realise, i have to listen to her naggings and
haolianing of her so call BOYFRIENDS!!! and
telling me she don "love" my dad anymore..
I DON WAN TO LISTEN TO ALL THESE~~~
i wan back my suzhou life seriously...
i hate staying at home...its SUCK!!!!
suck to the deepest part of earth...
SUCK SUCK SUCK...unlimited SUCK to describe
this morning my brother ask me
"how still use to ur bed? " den i was like
am i now in singapore??? oh SHIT... i am back SUCK!
i tout i was like dreaming...but i am not!!! ( how i wish i am)
those days in Suzhou is like a dream..
a dream that i HAVE to wake up unwillingly
i am so unwilling to come back sg yet
Ok! in suzhou i seriouly misses my toilet and bed
but now back here i realise i miss more thingy there
i miss the food , the weather, the freedom , shou zua bing
the cheap price there and most importantly
the CLIQUE!!!!!!! we spend like so much time tgt
even after room check, we still have a heart to heart session
before going into our lalaland!! now... i have htht myself lor..
our friendship will NEVER end..NEVER can it end
it will always extend till we even lying in the cofin!!
yeah! AND finally a big thanks to all people in Suzhou
i really do have a lot of fun...the most fun i even have in my life
:)

one more day

one more day i will be flying to china suzhou
i don know what is my feeling now?
am i excited or 依依不舍...
to be honest, i cant wait to go
really... cant wait to leave this house
whats wrong with this family
why my mum and my dad like that
trying not to hate them
but seriously...i hate them..
i hate not becoz i want to
i hate them becoz their action, their speech
they way they act as a parents
they fail to reach my expectation
as a parents...in my mind...

however...this is myfate..
it's destined that they will be my parents
therefore...i have to live with it
i understand... i hate them its becoz i cherish them
i wish that they will know this point
and make life easier...
i hope that this one month absent at home
they can reflect on themselve...

this goes the same to my brother
his attitude change after going to JC
i don know is it stress in school or what
i just wish to let him know that
i can always listen...but just please
brother don show this kind of sucky
attitude at home...this really spoil mood
and please take care of papa mummy when
i am not at home make sure they don quarrel
anything talk nicely don need to be loud okie...
and try to spend more time outside your room...
today mother just tell me that she almost forgotten
that she has a son sleeping in that room..
this is really sad hearing this and me too...
i almost forgotten i have a brother...
its time for u to grow up
understand?? finally..
PLEASE DO WASH MY HAMSTERS AND CHECK THEIR FOOD AND WATER!
THANKS....

counting down

2 more weeks to suzhou!!
the temperature is cooling there...
cant wait!!!! :) don miss me yeah

this is how i feel now...listen

这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了 谁让我变了
原本这是一个没有答案的问题
却被你解开了 简单的解开了

你走过来 带着和别人不同的对白
你甚至不让我知道 你对我有多好

慢慢的 这份爱 悄悄的住下来
深深的 在心里 没人看的出来
安静的 但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的 这份爱 已经变成依赖
浅浅的 笑容里 却让我充满期待
不用说 我就能够明白
你默默的爱

这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了 谁让我变了
原本这是一个没有答案的问题
却被你解开了 简单的解开了

你走过来 带着和别人不同的对白
你甚至不让我知道 你对我有多好

慢慢的 这份爱 悄悄的住下来
深深的 在心里 没人看的出来
安静的 但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的 这份爱 已经变成依赖
浅浅的 笑容里 却让我充满期待
不用说 我就能够明白
你默默的爱

erm...understand the lyric?

why why why!

why am i stupid and dam dam like a fool
why am i so careless so irritating so clamsy!
why am i so stupid till hopeless!!!
Why Why....small thing also cannot do well!!! i hate it!!!!

final year project~

second day of my final year project
gosh damn boring...cant wait to go suzhou!
everyday 830am to 600pm...
who can ta han!!! worst is my lecture
Mr Scott Jones...didnt brift much about the project
telling us to find out more ourself....HOW???
and one of our team mate went Bintan for 1 week!!
second day only!! and can imagine how boring it is!!
Kill Me!!!! haha.....tired man... more tiring den school
everyday need to system punch in and out on time..
if not u will consider late or sign off early!! WTH.........
FYPJ is so .... .... ..... ...... haha!!!! irritating....
this sat meeting mel again... hooray!
Raymond Lam, Xiao Zhu...i am coming!!

post project feelings

i can say that i am very glad that my projects are all over...
my team mates and i sacrifiy our sleep to rush the project
while other sleeping like a PIG! We only spend like 30mins
resting our eyes...then pack our bag and rush to sch for
presentation... we didnt did very well for the presentation
there are some errors...however...i know we did our best
we put in all our efforts and hardwork into this project
not like other... we are very thankful those who help us
through this whole project journey...they suppose
to have their own project to rush.. but they bother to help
come all the way to my house and accompany us all the
way through the night and help us to solve all the errors while
other sleeping like a PIG! after this project, i realise no matter
something how long you spend replenishing your sleep, you
will still feel tired... however .. i believe that soon i will miss the
feeling when everyone doing the project together....
tough but i enjoy the moment when you see your
hardwork laboured out successfully... it kind of
man zhu gan...like a mother gave birth to a healthy baby..
well..now we are preparing for exams...and soon..year 3 is starting
classmate might be separated... i really hope our friendship will
be ever lasting... good luck for your exams guys!

Happy MOOO Year!!!

today chu shan so late then blog
erm....let start from cu xi
on the eve, my da gu family came
my house for dinner
quite fun i can say
on the cu yi we went bai nian
collected quite a number of
hong bao.....got at least above 150 bah:)
then on the cu er ...
all my cousins come
also quite fun..coz can play with the kids
then today went to weiqi's house to have steamboat
quite fun too....before that went for a meeting
interview lar...for the suzhou trip
if everything settled
i might be leaving for suzhou on april
for 1 month bah
hope i can become more mature when i come back
a brand new JY!!haha.....
well..i will stop here...
happy chinese new year!!
GOOD HEALTH!!

touching

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance

For the break that will make it ok

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction oh beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

They may be empty and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room,

and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of an Angel;

may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn

There's vultures and thieves at your back

The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time

It's easier to believe

In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness

That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel far away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room,

and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie

In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here